Different moods …………..
I wrote my last post when I was feeling a little somber , unhappy even , my training was over , I had entered the taper phase leading up to the Gobi Desert race , in my head I was probably wondering whether after all my groin trouble I was going to be fit enough for whats coming up, most probably I wrote it for ” positive affirmation ” , one of those “athlete” methods of mental preparation , yet when I read it back to myself it sparks no excitement in me , no great OOOH RA !!! let’s do it !! , I’m enthusiastic alright , but I draw no real power from this type of preparation .
Truth be told I do everything from the heart , if I cannot find a passion in what I am doing , my head wont carry me through to the end , I could never finish a 100 mile race , going round and round a race track , never , I know this because my head without my heart is not strong enough. I’m told that it’s all about “how much” you want it , I ask myself why the F*** would I want it !! , seriously though people enter sports for all different reasons and I’m not knocking the endurance athlete who enjoys this sort of challenge , it’s just not for me . I need to be surrounded by nature , I need to experience amazing miracles on the “journey” to the finish , lakes , mountains , deserts , rivers , I love it , they all amaze me !! I do everything at my very best when I’m surrounded by Mother Nature , it always feels easier , I try to gleen my own energy from natures energy , I lose myself in where I am and the pain is gone , like magic !! natures very own magic !! and with my running ability I need all the magic I can get !!! Im never really sure as to why Im enjoying this running so much , yet I scrape through and enjoy it to the max !! Indeed I am an advert for “anyone can” if they try hard enough …so if your doubting your own abilities then all I can say is get out there and give it your absolute best , you might just be good enough to enjoy yourself ……
I consider myself so very lucky that both Kayaking and Climbing have taken me from one side of the globe to the other , to places only a handful of people have ever been , will ever be , I enjoyed the danger , the risk , the tough decision-making , the finite and extreme nature of the skills required and the fine line between the power and precision required to do it , but mostly , especially latterly it has been about the destination and the journey , the climbing expeditions and deep multi-day gorge descents in a kayak requiring long periods of self-sufficiency have always been my favorites , sleeping under the stars on a freezing cold mountian , huge waterfalls , unrunnable rapids , the huge scale of a Himalayan mountain , all these things have to be seen to be believed , and the bonds I built up with the friends I have taken these journeys with are still as strong today as they were when we left that last great adventure , this is a truly special bond , but for the most hard endeavours bring out the best in people , you share in amazing experiences , these are people I trust with my life literally ….. if I stop I will miss it , yet I no longer aspire to enter these dangerous environments any more , I have perhaps had my fill of the danger and calculated risk and now I am looking to Ultra distance running to satisfy my need for a challenge and a Journey , and this it does very well , there are some amazing journeys to be had out there , multi stage events across the Arctic , Himalaya, Sahara , Gobi , far away Jungles , you name it there’s a race out there that will try to cross it … then theres the single push races like the WHW race , CCC and the UTMB to name but a few , huge distances over amazingly hard terrain , wild and fabulous journeys abound in this sport .. So much to aspire to ………..
Ultrarunning Events , even ones that cross deserts are relatively safe , they are supported , carry fully trained medical personnel and you are never put in any real danger , allowing you to challenge yourself physically and mentally almost right up to your limit and “enjoy” the experience far more so than when you are fully self supported , all the complications are taken care of for you , no worries, no tedium , just run and sleep , enjoy the whole experience for what it is at the core , movement across an exciting and new terrain , a test of your body and soul , all this from the simple action of running , something that naturally is within us all , all we need to do is hone it and use it to experience amazing things ….. easy ! Running in a way lets you take in the environment 100% , not like a river where I am catapulted down some white water maelstrom with nothing but white foam and my next must make line in my eyes ,no time for taking in the scenery in hard kayaking , yet both kayaking and running give you a real connection with nature , more so than any other sports I have been involved in , with kayaking you move with the water , flow through the moves , you can’t power big water , you need to work with it , using its own power , lots of skill and immense concentration though , with running the connection is more of a feeling , you are out there on your feet , travelling across a beautiful wilderness , you have lots of time to think , to absorb every detail , to be part of it all ….. its beautiful really , in a way it’s as nature intended it , no cars , no asphalt race track , just you and your own hard work … amazing !!
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