Equilibrium …………

Equilibrium …………

 

Equilibrium “the condition of a system in which competing influences are balanced”

Events over the past few days have had me accept some serious truths and start to re-evaluate just who I am and where I am now headed, pretty much my life has always sat in perfect equilibrium , I’ve been lucky enough to have had the time , motivation , funds and energy to go chasing my dreams , I kept out of serious relationships until India’s mother , I walked in and out of work easily between adventures and always kept myself fit enough to grab any opportunity to climb or kayak that presented itself , I thought it would never end but over the past few years I’ve had a dose of “come back down to Earth” served to me on a weekly basis ,my break up and ongoing troubles between India’s mother and I ,the way my shops suffered from the recession and most problematic of all !! my accident in Vallouise which has now reared its ugly head in the most obtrusive life changing way and saw my shoulder degrade to a state that now necessitates an operation just for normal use…..

Originally I thought all I had to do was rest for a year and normal life would resume again but now I’m looking at at least another 12 months on a waiting list and then a 6-12 month recovery period , hopefully after the operation it will be strong enough to begin easy climbing and kayaking again and even then it may never be trustworthy enough for a remote kayak or climbing trip. Its like one of those stories that happens to someone else , except its happening to me !! But these are now the facts of my life and I have accepted them yet its hard to know just what I feel, I’ve kayaked grade 5 all over the world and I was a climber capable of E5 , a very lofty grade and one that I trained hard to maintain , its only been a year since my accident and already my gymnastic strength and abilities have all but disappeared , the man who once walked up the “100 steps“on his hands can’t even do a hand stand anymore , my finger strength is gone and my muscle tension a fraction of what it was .. after another 2 years out I will have to start from the very bottom again and I just can’t imagine what that will be like .

So what do I do now ? Well I’m about to embark on a serious plan to become a better runner , I’m putting thoughts of rivers and rock faces to the side , they are just negative baggage now, It’s great that I have been there but I wont waste my time dreaming of maybe when there are real possibilities in front of me !! I’m going to join the local running club , follow training plans and enter tough races , it’s the only positive way forward so I am about to take it , it’s not that I havent already been run training but I always thought it was a stop-gap between getting back to the rock/river , I never really gave it 100% , I did what was necessary to enjoy myself and get to the finish line but now I want a little more , of course I want to enjoy it first but now Id like to get more involved in the training , go a little harder !! go longer !! I’ve been lucky to have become friends with and been super inspired by the grand masters of Scottish endurance Mark Cooper , Paul Giblin ,Donnie Campbell, Andrew Murray ,Richard Galbraith , ,Davie Belle and Peter Gallanagh , through twitter I’ve met and followed guys like Ray Wise,Johnny Mullen , Sonny Winston , Andrew Fletcher and many more .. in fact running culture is so inspiring its hard to believe this didn’t happen to me sooner but I did already have 2 great loves maybe 3 😉 so it took a little separation time to leave my last relationship behind and start anew with my new task mistress of extreme running !!!!

“remember all my blog posts are my own experiences and my own interpretation, if you feel I’m wrong say so in the comments and we can also learn from your experience ………”

Id like to thank the Teviotdale Leisure Centre for its continued Support

if you enjoyed reading this note then please have a further look at www.runner786.com and http://www.justgiving.com/marko3006/ ……….. all donation no matter how small makes a difference ….

Posted in Mojo | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Happy People , Happy planet …………..

Happy People , Happy Planet ………………….

Leave the confines of your every day life , step out of your comfort zone and every now and again life will throw a bizarre experience right in your face ……

Smile the day goes quicker

 

On Friday I set out on what I thought would be a weekend of fun , frolics and foreign climes ,  in part it was but the ethereal force that is life twisted it into a maelström of madness that I was eventually spat out of late Sunday night at London’s White Chapel  Accident and Emergency ward after a tour of several A+E’s  and my fifth shoulder dislocation of the day .. previous to this I had been treated to lost passports, lost fortunes, rubber suited nurses , drunken debauchery and train journeys to nowhere, there was even a point where I was told by a Doctor that I may never kayak again , … it was a weekend to remember on many different levels ..  a weekend of extremes , so much went wrong , yet so much of it was so right .. it was a journey of Bliss and Insanity,it was the pleasure and pain sexual experience in holiday format !! .. I loved it and I hated it , yet there can be no denying that it made me feel so very alive !!

 

The surrealism of it doesn’t escape me , especially as right now I’m sitting in the most serenely beautiful little cafe’ in London fields attempting to detoxify my body with fresh Apple juice and avocado risotto , still trying to take in my most bizarre of weekends  , how could it all have end up so far from where it was meant to have gone , yet despite everything it turned out fantastically well …. There is no doubt it is a weekend I will remember forever and this I think is the lesson learnt , no way can we be disheartened if things do not go the way we plan it , experiences come in all shapes and sizes , some pleasurable , some painful , all are part of who we are , who we will become .. a little piece of everything we experience  builds the mould that continues to create us.

 

So life again reinforces my appreciation that we should never give up , never be disheartened by failure and never ever doubt our own abilities to keep moving through life happy and positive , enjoying its every twist and turn … take what you want from this post , it’s just a little  piece of my mind chattering but it’s not pointless , if you didn’t do well at your last run , race or challenge  , don’t despair at a DNF or a bad time …. think of the fun you had , the people you met  and the fact that you were there among the electricity of the crowds   …… it’s all good , it’s all so very good ….

“remember all my blog posts are my own experiences and my own interpretation, if you feel I’m wrong say so in the comments and we can also learn from your experience  ………” 

Id like to thank the Teviotdale Leisure Centre for its continued Support

if you enjoyed reading this note then please have a further look at www.runner786.com and http://www.justgiving.com/marko3006/ ……….. all donation no matter how small makes a difference ….

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The Running Mojo ……

The Running Mojo……………… 

The true meaning of Mojo originates in Voodoo and is a charm or spell , little known fact 😉  it is now a popular modern word that has been adopted by drinking Bars across the world , famous records , record Magazines and even Mick Jagger’s dog!!   we now make it our own and refer to it as “My Mojo” , commonly meaning a talent for pulling hot or sometimes not chicks on a Saturday night , but to a runner it is our ability to enjoy what we do and do it well , the magic of running if you will !!

So what happens to a runner when we lose our mighty Mojo ?? … When it happened to me I seemed to lose all enjoyment of what I was doing and with it my motivation to run and my energy to do so !! , how did this happen ??  For me it was not living up to my own expectations , possibly caused by the gradual decline in my fitness due to a growing number of injuries and the pressure of knowing the enormity of the Events I had before me , an ever-increasing spiral of negativity and disappointment forced its way into my life and for a while caused me no end of dissatisfaction and nearly had me call it a day after the Gobi  ….. Mine was perhaps an extreme case , 3 huge events and the craziness that came from it all placed a very heavy load on me both physically and mentally, I didn’t give up though , I dug deep and persevered , stayed positive and since my return from the Gobi desert race when I was probably at my lowest point ever I have learnt about rest , recuperation and the miracle of inspiration… !!   It wasn’t easy but this running Jedi has pulled himself back from the Dark Side !! Darth Vader!! Suck my M*** F***** D***  !!!  …. 😉

Welcome to my Mojo World !!!

The symptoms are normally a lot  milder though  , maybe caused by the dissatisfaction of not getting a PB so badly wanted after so much hard work , or being injured , this can be hell to recover from often leaving you back where you started all those hard months ago , even completing a goal can cause a temporary lack of Mojo !! “you’ll never know the true value of an achievement until it becomes a memory” , very true but once its a memory there’s a void to be filled and this can take its toll mentally …. Many an achievement has passed in my life where it’s ended and I’m left deflated ,empty and wondering what’s next !! So it looks like a Mojo can just disappear , there can be no reason , you wake up one day and your motivation is gone , your enjoyment has disappeared and your Zen like running state is a disaster area of sore feet and worries about where your going in life !! Its tough and nasty but not irrecoverable !!

 

So my advice to anyone suffering a temporary lack of the Magical Mojo is not to sit down but to stick in , find something that moves you again , take the pressure off and drop back , run to an enjoyable distance and pace , get out with friends and people who inspire you , enjoy what you do and let yourself begin to desire the hard stuff again , slowly , naturally and if you are  the person who once sought to better themselves then soon you will be again  … the emotions will stir inside and the desire will grab you , the buzz will fill you and the hairs on the back of your neck will again stand up ….I’ll say it again!  ENJOY IT .. and you will get your Mighty Mojo back very quickly !!

Several Mojos working simultaneously at once …..

Right now Marko’s Mojo is back and with renewed vigour !!!! … even my hot lady pulling Mojo has worked overtime of late and nabbed me a beautiful little Pixie of Pout  , Yeah baby !!! …. remember !!  NEVER GIVE UP !!!  EVER !! … you will pull through !!!

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“remember all my blog posts are my own experiences and my own interpretation, if you feel I’m wrong say so in the comments and we can also learn from your experience  ………” 

Id like to thank the Teviotdale Leisure Centre for its continued Support

if you enjoyed reading this note then please have a further look at www.runner786.com and http://www.justgiving.com/marko3006/ ……….. all donation no matter how small makes a difference ….

Posted in Mojo, Training | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

In the land of Epics ………….

Epics are the life blood of the adventurer ……..

In the Land of epics …………….. 

“DNF’s and DNS’s are all part of  living in the land of epics ”  …. a quote from a friend and fellow outdoor adventurer, I will allow him to remain nameless but he certainly knows about epics and has won his fair share of hard races , even he didn’t complete all of them every time though  .. read on dudes !!!!

After almost a full year of Ultra running I have learnt so much and had many great experiences , Its been a very steep learning curve and one that has certainly been filled with both success and failure and at the same time elation and disappointment . I trained hard to get Ultra fit , building up to and following 100+ mile a week schedules up to the MDS , Over a harsh winter I ran and did well in various single stage Ultras in both the UK and Ireland , literally ran up as many Hill races as I could and found 30+ mile runs to be a staple part of my weekly diet .. often finishing with ease .. it all changed though once I hit the MDS , I was fit enough but my feet blistered badly , forcing me into a pain filled last few days and then several weeks of rest before again lining up to race in the Scottish Ultra , 150 miles and 20000+ feet of steep ascent ..  I actually did very well in this , my fitness had carried  through from my training before the MDS  and I was racing on my home turf  , the 3 week rest hadn’t done my muscles any ill but my body was obviously still very run down as my last stage was ruined by a dose of  Cryptosporidium which floored me flat  !! I was headed over to Cyprus for a vacation the day after the race and luckily I was staying with my mother , the first few days I continued to be very ill and it took nearly 14 days to get myself sorted , I was far to ill to consider any running while I was out there so another rest period entailed , I returned to Scotland a few weeks later on the friday night where I had a full day’s rest before running in the Edinburgh Marathon , this I had no end of bother in , a niggle in my groin from the Scottish Ultra turned into a full-on strain by the end of 26 miles and I was forced into a 2 week rest again , so at this point due to various injuries I had not been able to do any consistent training at all over the summer , very frustrating !! , I then embarked on the Helvellyn hill race and my groin flared up yet again … forcing me into yet another long period of rest , this went on for weeks before I eventually managed to get out and try a few miles , my groin was  tight but with the Gobi race looming in late July I had to do something , so between running hilly 10Ks and my mountain bike I tried to stay fit , the last 2 weeks before I left for Mongolia I did manage to get in some good long runs in , including the Lairig Ghru Ultra and the deceptively gruelling  Pentland Skyline ,  I wasn’t able to apply much intensity to them but I completed them none the less ,unfortunately on reaching the Gobi my lack of consistant training showed badly , my fitness was lacking and I ran out of legs on day 3 , this made it harder for me than it ever should have been  , both physically and mentally I was badly prepared for the enormity of a second desert race so early and with the onset of bad  blistering I pulled the plug on Day 4 .. but that’s just the way it went …. at the time I didn’t care , I just wanted out , mentally and physically I’d had enough ,it was just one desert to many in to short a period for me !! eventually it turned to disappointment  ….but that’s life , we can’t turn back the clock on our decisions , but we can learn from mistakes and move on positively , which is what I intend to do. Right now my fitness level is at its lowest ebb but I am preparing a good consistent build up again , I am finally relatively injury free  , even my toe nails are looking normal again !! granted a few are missing.    I started it all back in 2010 as a running virgin and I threw myself at it hard but it wasn’t enough , I know now that I took on way more than I ever should have , but I don’t care !! as far as adventurous years go it was one of the best , a crazy helter skelter of effort , adventure , endurance and pain !! It was amazing !! and it’s not over yet ….

F***ed ….if Alan Carr had wanted me I was defenceless !!

My experiences although pretty extreme even for a hardened Ultra runner have made me see how difficult it is to run regular Ultra races and remain injury and illness free , we subject ourselves to huge stress in our training , you can train smart but you can’t cheat the mileage in Ultra , “use it or lose it” baby !! so out we go and batter our feet , toes and knees , we are out in every weather , we are out with colds , flus , injuries and often even in the middle of the night , we never truly recover , not even in taper , our bodies are constantly fighting to rebuild and recover when maybe they should be fighting off diseases and building up immunities  , our little niggles build up into full blown injuries , none of us want to take our foot off the pedal so we don’t listen to our bodies when we should , maybe we do but most of us have selective hearing when it comes to rest , and eventually our bodies kick us where it hurts , literally with a groin strain!! it shouts time to stop and halts us dead in our tracks , a torn muscle , a flu virus , a 24 hour trip to the toilet!! … I used to be fit and healthy but since I have been able to run 100+ miles a week I am merely fit !!  and that’s the truth !! In fact I have just this week suffered a viral Flu , the result probably of not resting on my return from the Gobi .. I am of course my worst enemy !! C’est la vie !!   I believe there is a very delicate balance between being fit and being healthy , some people can handle it better than others but most of us will suffer at one time or another … “when you push beyond the safe zone it is not safe”  … stay there long enough and something will happen , there’s nothing surer !

The Ultimate engine management system ……….

Most importantly is our mental state for without a strong mind , a strong body cannot be driven , we need our brains to push , to motivate and to lift us when our body wants to drop to its knees , it can push us forwards on will power alone , it can drag every microjoule of energy from our body and keep us moving forward , it is the brain that takes us to the start line and the brain that sees the finish , but let it get tired or out of control and truly “the wheels are off the wagon” in a big way , its like a wild stallion , full of untapped energy but to get to it we need to feed it , stimulate it , yet train it , make it obedient , sometimes its just not going to happen but when it does , and we hit the Ch’i spot !! …  hang on to your running shoes because were off on a roller coaster of running fun … oh yeah !!!!  🙂

there can be no pleasure without pain ……….

I have followed other Ultra runners over the year , watched and listened , observed their races ,even followed the progress of some of the big names in our sport and I have seen a pattern , one that nobody escapes unscathed from , we all peak and dip , we train hard and on a “good” day can accomplish miraculous feats , but we don’t always have good days , none of us are 100% consistent , no matter how planned our training is and how perfectly we implement it , how good our diet is , how fit our legs and heart are, or how strong we are mentally which never forget is the real driving force behind everything we do . For us to do our “very best” we must use all these abilities in synergy , we must have all “the wheels on our wagon” ,  it only takes one aspect to be out of synch and its trouble !!  at the starting line the difference between DNF or Finishers medal can be very small , finite !!, we could still blast a decent 10km , or get a good 10 miles in or even squeeze 20 but ask yourself what happens over 40 miles, 50 miles or even 100 !! it just magnifies and gets worse as we go forward , sometimes we can fight through , some times we cannot or just will not , that’s life at the extreme end , when your really pushing the limits ,  most of us only want to finish respectfully ,  we have a buffer zone , one where we can just back off and drop the pace , but if your up front racing for position you do not have this luxury , its all or nothing ,for the top athlete there is no backing off , for them reaching the race 100% is everything , positions can be only seconds apart , consistently performing perfectly is impossible but top runners dedicate their year and training schedule to getting as close as they can  , trying to peak bang on race day , it takes dedication and can be the difference between a winner and a loser , its a skill gained by years of dedicated experience and then theres still the mental aspect leading up to the startign line , matching factors , repeating rituals , setting the pattern for success , all skills that take a lot of fine tuning until they all slide into place !!  Ultra-running is not the only sport where this comes into play but I doubt that there is one where it needs to all fit together for such an inordinate length of time.

My friend Sonny Winston cranks over the Dunes !! MDS 2011

Get it right though , hit that peak when we are mentally in the right place and body fit to go hard , this is when we reach the finish line of our greatest challenge , where we complete the Extremest of Ultra events , races that take us to the max , races like the West Highland Way race , Ultimate Frontera , UTMB , CCC , Marathon Des Sable , Gobi races , Indo  and Arctic Ultras , 24 hour races and even 24 hour tread mill records  ….   that’s why we keep trying , what all the hard grinding work is for , why we put up with sore feet and give up our precious time , the reason we get up at 6am and don our cold running shoes  , why we ignore the niggles and snuffles , it is why we dream of great things !!!  so lets have some of that in our lives , lets live hard !!!   Yassssssssssssssssssss………………………………… now wheres my trail shoes ???

“remember all my blog posts are my own experiences and my own interpretation, if you feel I’m wrong say so in the comments and we can also learn from your experience  ………” 

Id like to thank the Teviotdale Leisure Centre for its continued Support

if you enjoyed reading this note then please have a further look at www.runner786.com and http://www.justgiving.com/marko3006/ ……….. all donation no matter how small makes a difference ….

Posted in Marathon des Sables, Training, Ultrathon | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments